1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
