So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
