I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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