i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
