9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have post one night stand depression
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