the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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