ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
