i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
