My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
