So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
