SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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