Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
