How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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