love makes seman taste better
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
