she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
PANTIES FOUND
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