I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
