I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we should paint friendship bongs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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