3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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