Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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