im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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