Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
