see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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