Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
