New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
