You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
