but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
