does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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