"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Panties = found
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
