About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
