Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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