I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
