Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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