there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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