Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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