awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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