I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
