oh god the rape fog is back!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
