Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
