Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
