Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
