You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
