An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
