dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
