my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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