ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
