he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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