I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You are a genius and a whore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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