ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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