I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
