So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
